One of people’s top needs is the need to feel important. By becoming skillful at making others feel important, others will respond more positively to you and to your ideas. By the way, this stuff will only work if you are sincere. If you are trying to use this to manipulate people, they’ll know, and it won’t work.

This is not rocket science. It’s just good manners and good people skills. It’s just an application of the Golden Rule. I’m sure that once you’ve read these tips, you’ll wish other people did these things when they were talking to you.

1 – Listen to them.

2 – Compliment them (when they deserve it).

3 – Pause before you answer their questions. It gives you time to think of a better response and it gives them the impression that you were thinking over what they just said to you.

4 – Use their names as often as you can.

5 – Pay attention to everyone in the group. Not just the leader.

6 – Talk about their interests and ask a lot of questions. Sooner or later, if they have any people skills, they will start asking about your interests. Once they do, you can tell them about you in a way that will match their interests and needs.

7 – Use the words “you” and “your” much more than the words “I, me, my, mine.”

8 – Look at them in the eyes. Don’t let your eyes wander.

9 – Lean towards them when they are talking.

10 -Let them know by your actions that you are interested in what they are saying. If you agree with what they are saying, nod your head. If they tell an amusing story, smile or laugh.

11 – Don’t interrupt them. Ask them to tell you more. Stick to their subject until they are finished.

12 – When they are done talking, repeat some of their thoughts in their own words so they know you were listening.


13 – Show them how they can get what they want (that will make you valuable to them).


Olympic Motivational Speaker Ruben Gonzalez